What are the warning signs of an unhappy marriage and what are the ways to fix it?
Marriage is, without a doubt, one of the most complex
things to maintain and keep the spark alive, especially after a certain amount
of time.
It’s hard to tell for sure how you get there but you
know that you’re in an unhappy marriage when the only positive thing
about it is a collection of old happy times you had together.
You recall all those sweet moments of your romantic
relationship when you hugged and kissed each other with passion,
when you enjoyed every second spent together, when you made an effort,
respected and appreciated each other—when things were just right.
And when you compare it with today’s situation, it’s
an entirely different world where you feel like you no longer know each other
and that you’re in a marriage with a stranger.
There’s no real physical affection,
you notice a lack of intimacy and you feel like you’re stuck in
a rut.
You realize that from being in a healthy
relationship, you probably entered the zone of an unhappy and loveless
marriage and you have no idea what you’re supposed to do next.
But you’re not really sure of it or you don’t want to
be sure of it because the last thing you need in your life is dealing with all
those red flags of a bad marriage.
You don’t want to be the only one who is going out of
their way to make your marriage work but that’s exactly what you need
to do (or at least try to do) if you want to get through this rough
patch and prevent an eventual separation, aka going
your separate ways.
So, staying in an unhappy marriage will only
prolong your pain and seriously influence the quality of your lives and your
well-being.
The wisest thing to do is either decide to save your
marriage by dealing with all the relationship problems and finding
the root of it or break up for good.
As with other things, the first step to establishing a
healthy and happy marriage is acknowledging that you have a problem.
That is why it is of the utmost importance that you
check the following telltale signs of an
unhappy marriage which will tell you whether your marriage needs
fixing in the first place!
If any of the following signs speak the truth, there’s
no need to freak out because below you will find the ways which will help you
fix your marriage. ‘Where there is a will, there is a way’.
6 SIGNS OF AN UNHAPPY MARRIAGE
Lack of intimacy and physical affection
One of the first and often biggest signs of an
unhappy marriage is a lack of intimacy or any kind
of physical affection.
This includes having sex, hugging, kissing and
cuddling. And many people in an unhappy marriage are not even aware
of it because over time, a lack of intimacy and physical
affection becomes routine.
So, the first step to understanding whether this is
happening to you is by comparing the current situation with the initial stages
of your marriage, when your love was at its peak.
When you compare it, do you notice a visible lack of
attention, warmth and affection today?
If yes, I’m sorry to tell you but this is a major
sign of an unhappy marriage because a lack of
intimacy and affection are a basis for every healthy
relationship and healthy marriage.
It’s the first sign screaming that something’s
drastically changed and it needs fixing!
You no longer enjoy spending time together
Another clear sign of an unhappy
marriage is the fact that you no longer enjoy spending time together.
This one is closely connected with the previous one
and it’s the main reason why there’s a lack of intimacy and
connection in marriage.
You know you’re in a loveless and unhappy
marriage when you’re constantly alone, doing your own
thing on social media or similar and vice versa.
‘Together activities’ no longer exist because you don’t
feel that joy when with each other like before.
Your spouse has literally become a stranger whose
company you no longer enjoy because of all of that accumulation of negative
emotions, arguing and disrespect.
When that happens, it’s totally normal that you will
want to stay separated for as long as possible but a happy marriage doesn’t
really function that way.
Lack of meaningful and open communication
Just like intimacy and spending quality time together,
meaningful and open communication is also the foundation of a solid and happy
marriage.
Why? Because communication means expressing your
wishes, desires, appreciation and understanding.
And when all of that is gone, all that is left is
silence, stonewalling or the exchange of a few meaningless words just
for the sake of maintaining basic communication.
So, if you can’t remember the last time you and your
spouse looked each other deeply in the eyes and had a session of meaningful and
open communication, you have a problem.
When something happens at your work or with your
friends or family (be it good or bad) and your spouse is not the first person
to whom you would go and share it, it means that your connection has
disappeared into thin air and your marriage is no longer stable.
You’re constantly criticizing each other
Occasional arguments are totally normal in every
marriage and actually desirable because it is always better to get rid of the
negativity than to keep holding grudges and ignoring each other.
But the problem arises when these conflicts and
criticizing each other become routine.
It means that there is a huge gap between the spouses
and all of their energy is directed to the negative.
Constantly criticizing each other basically means that
you’re constantly telling each other that you’re doing everything wrong, that
you’re not worthy and that you don’t accept each other for who you really are.
Criticism arises from a huge amount of dissatisfaction
with yourself and the quality of your marriage because being constantly
irritated by your partner’s actions means subtly asking for changes but in the
wrong way.
It’s your subconscious telling you that something’s
wrong but you’re not quite sure what exactly.
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You’re avoiding each other
Even though this one’s similar to the above sign ‘You
no longer enjoy spending time together’, still there’s a significant difference
between the two.
Not enjoying time together means that it comes
naturally to you to spend your time with your friends, family and others who
are not your spouse.
But avoiding each other means deliberately doing
everything in your power to prevent seeing your spouse, let alone spending some
quality time together as a couple.
This includes constant lying about staying late at
work, changing your route just to avoid seeing or picking up your spouse or
constantly having someone at your place just to avoid spending alone time with
your partner.
Avoidance stems from all the negativities in marriage
because after some time, couples associate spending time with their partner as
something unpleasant that will probably turn into a fight or an argument and
that is why they choose to keep it from happening by avoiding each other.
You feel lonely and hurt
The majority of people in unhappy
marriages have a tendency to blame other things and everyone around them
for the state they’re in.
They connect the feelings of loneliness and hurt with
their work and other issues that have nothing to do with the real source of
their misery.
If you’re constantly feeling lonely and hurt, the
real source of your misery could be being in an unhappy marriage but
mostly we’re preoccupied with other things that bother us and that’s the main
reason why we tend to mistake the real root of our unhappiness.
If the rest of the signs speak the truth, then you can
be sure that you’re feeling lonely and hurt because your marriage is making you
feel that way.
HOW TO FIX YOUR MARRIAGE
If you’ve just realized that you’re marriage is a
resemblance of unhappiness, guilt, trust issues, disrespect and, ultimately,
pain, there is no need to instantly abandon it and discard the option of fixing
it instead.
Of course, this depends on you and your partner and
your mutual willingness to save your marriage and fight for your love.
When you’re both ready to make big changes in your life
and restore the initial spark of your love, here are 5 ways that will help you
on your journey to saving your marriage:
Communicate with each other
Communicate, communicate and communicate some more.
Communication is the basis of every healthy relationship and without
it, people wouldn’t be able to function properly.
If your communication pattern is severely damaged,
first try by prolonging your small talk and turning it into meaningful
sessions.
Another step is making a list of the issues that need to
be talked about and dealt with.
Both of you need to write some issues that you noticed
in your relationship and talk about them face-to-face, with understanding,
compassion and respect.
After you’ve addressed the issues, the next step is
proposing possible solutions that will solve them.
Take a break from each other
If you’re still having difficulties communicating with
each other no matter what you have tried, maybe it’s time to take a break from
each other for a while.
This will let you think about your marriage more
clearly and it will help you understand what is really going on.
Taking a break from each other means taking some time
to question the important things and work on yourself as well and after you’ve
reunited again, you will have a chance to apply it to your marriage as well.
Make decisions cooperatively
When something’s bothering you and when it’s obvious
that you don’t agree on certain matters, it’s important to learn to make
decisions cooperatively instead of pushing your own agenda and deciding for
both of you.
You need to learn to express your concerns in a
healthy way and always be specific about the reasons for your worrying and
similar.
Once you learn to make decisions cooperatively instead
of competitively, you will notice significant improvements and your marriage
will flourish.
Smile more, touch more and hug more
Smile even when nothing’s really funny, just for the
sake of creating positive vibes in your marriage. Use the power of subtle touch
and hug whenever you have a chance.
All of these will wake up the warmth that’s been
sleeping for some time and the more you practice it, the more you’ll feel
closer to each other.
Final Thoughts
Being in an unhappy marriage can seriously
damage both your mental and physical health and that is why it is important to
notice all of the above signs of an unhappy marriage in time so that
you can prevent any further damage.
The first step is acknowledging that you have a
problem, accepting it and dealing with it.
If you think that your initial affection is still
there and all it needs is a little wake-up call, you should definitely fight
for what you have but only if both of you are willing to make an effort and
fight for your marriage reciprocally.
“What counts in making a happy marriage is
not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.” –
Leo Tolstoy
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If you’ve been through a breakup recently--
Or if your man seems to be drifting further away each day...
Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.
Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing your man can hear that will change his mind and heart.
And once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...
It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you...
And even begging to be with you. So Click Below And Discover The Secret Now Before It’s too late
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