You’ve filed for divorce, and you’re probably asking yourself, “what should I do now?” To be honest, I’ve got to tell you that a difficult period is ahead of you no matter what you choose to do.
However, ignoring your spouse during your separation
is probably the best way to deal with it.
I know you’re now asking how to do it and
if it’s even possible to ignore someone after many years of marriage. How do
you ignore someone who was such a great part of your life for so long?
This will be especially difficult if children are
involved. It’ll be impossible to completely ignore your spouse if you have kids
together because you’ll have to communicate about them, at least.
However, even that communication should be kept to a
minimum. You should only discuss important things related to your kids;
everything else should be ignored.
Believe me, even though this technique seems very
difficult right now, it will help you get through this process as fast and as
painlessly as possible.
Ignoring your spouse during your
separation — My own experience
Let me tell you my story. I was in a loving
relationship with my partner for three years before we decided to get married.
We were married for three more years. So, I’d spent
six years with him, and I suppose that’s enough time to know someone, right?
Well, to be honest, I think that even a
lifetime isn’t enough to know someone entirely because I’ve been living with
myself for more than thirty years, and I still manage to surprise myself with
some of my decisions and actions.
However, I did know him enough to realize when he was
lying. I also knew our relationship well enough to tell when something was off
between us.
For the first two years of our marriage, we were one
of those happily married couples that seem like there is nothing or no person
that could ever stand between them or damage/ruin their marriage.
Then we had our baby boy, and just like that,
everything changed. I noticed that my husband had changed and that we were
growing apart.
I was aware that his feelings had changed, and every
time I confronted him about it, he would deny it all.
He didn’t know how to communicate in a healthy way,
which is one way men destroy their marriages. I felt like I was living
with a roommate or someone I hardly knew for that last year of our marriage.
To cut this long story short, he didn’t want to get a
divorce even though he was aware that we no longer loved each other.
Somehow, he managed to convince me that we should go
to couples counseling and try to make our marriage work.
I accepted, even though I was aware that we were in
a loveless marriage beyond saving. Of course, all of that didn’t help
us reconnect again, and to be honest, I didn’t want to get my husband back.
Then, I filed for divorce and decided to ignore him
completely during the separation process. And to be honest, that helped us both
and made things a lot easier for both of us.
We both knew that divorce would be difficult, but we
were aware that sometimes it’s better to do it than stay in an unhappy
marriage.
Now that it’s all behind us, we have a really good
relationship, and the most important thing is that we both take care of our
son, because that’s truly the most important thing.
The dos and don’ts of ignoring your spouse
during your separation
Whether you’re ignoring your spouse during your
separation because you want it all to end as quickly and painlessly as
possible, or it’s just how you cope with your feelings, these dos and don’ts
will help you to achieve the goal you want.
If you’re ignoring your spouse because you think it’s
the best to make them realize that it’s their loss and somehow get your
wife/husband back, these dos and don’ts may help you with that, but I would
advise you not to do it.
It’s not worth it. They’re not worthy of you nor your
precious time. If someone is so blind and isn’t able to see your worth,
there is no point in trying to get them to see it.
DO believe in the power of the no
contact rule
I think one of the best techniques to deal
with any kind of breakup for both partners is his majesty, the no contact
rule.
Because for as long as you stay in touch with someone,
you won’t be able to break up with that person for good.
I know it’ll be difficult. You were sure that this
person was your soulmate and that you’d stay together forever. You spent so
much time with them, and they’re still a huge part of your own life.
You got used to them. You got used to
waking up next to them every morning and snuggling with them in bed every
night. You got used to seeing them and talking to them every single day.
Now, all of a sudden, all of that must stop. You can’t
see them, nor can you call them just to hear their voice. I just want to
prepare you; this will be a difficult task.
How do you ignore and avoid a person who was your
other half for such a long time, right? However, the no contact rule only lasts
30 days, and after that, you can stop avoiding your soon-to-be-ex-spouse.
I know what you’ll now be saying, “It’ll be 30 days of
hell.” Hmm, probably, but just know that this rule is so powerful that it’ll
make everything so much easier for you.
Surprisingly, the last few days of the no contact rule
month will be awful. The last one will probably be the worst, but you’ll see
that everything will be so much clearer and easier for you the next day.
However, if you endure it all and manage not to be in
contact with your spouse at all, you’ll make the separation process a whole lot
easier, both for you and your spouse.
There are indeed so many benefits of the no
contact rule.
Before
Continuing I Want To Show You Something
Here's
Something Special For You…
If you’ve been through
a breakup recently--
Or if your man seems to
be drifting further away each day...
Then it’s time to pull
out all the stops.
Because 99% of the
time, there is only 1 thing your man can hear that will change his mind and
heart.
And once you say this
to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...
It will flip his world
upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you...
And even begging to be
with you. So Click Below And Discover The Secret Now Before It’s too late
Now Lets Continue To Our Topic…
DON’T answer their phone calls
I know this sounds like a challenging thing to do,
especially if you still have feelings for your spouse. Even if you don’t, you
probably still respect them and don’t want to make them suffer.
This is for the best, trust me. If you still keep in
contact with your spouse, it will only make things even more complicated.
You’ll remind each other of all the things you went
through together, and then it’ll be even harder for you to end things with them
for good.
On the other hand, you may also end up discussing some
of your unresolved marriage problems and disagreements and make this situation
a whole lot worse for both of you.
I’m sure that’s the last thing you need right now.
There will be days when you’ll be thinking, “Oh, god,
should I text her/him just to see how they are?” But you have to ignore it all.
Even if your spouse doesn’t reach out and you really
want to know how they feel, consider it as you being forbidden to initiate
contact.
To cut a long story short, when you hear
your phone beeping and you see their name on the screen of your phone, just
delete their text message without even looking at what they’ve written.
DO talk with them if it’s an emergency
Let’s be honest. There is no such thing as an easy or
painless breakup.
Separating from someone you’ve spent a long period of
time with is always difficult, no matter who initiated the breakup or what the
reason for it was.
You need to be prepared that the divorce process will
be difficult, painful, and emotionally draining for both you and your
soon-to-be-ex-husband/wife.
If you were the one who initiated the breakup, your
spouse will most surely have a hard time accepting the fact that you’re going
your separate ways after so many years of marriage.
They will probably reach out and ask you to talk and
work things out. They may even suggest marriage counseling to help you fix
your broken marriage.
If you’re completely sure that you’ve made the right
decision, even if it hurts to see them suffer, you shouldn’t change your mind.
The truth is that sooner or later, you’ll
be divorced. Postponing the divorce won’t make things easier. On the contrary,
it may only hurt both of you more.
However, in an emergency, you should answer their
calls or reply to their text messages. But you’re ONLY allowed to do that in
serious cases of emergency.
This is especially important if you’ve got kids
together. Suppose your spouse wants to talk about child support or some other
important things regarding your kids.
DON’T do anything that might provoke a
reaction from your partner
This is a difficult time in your life. You must think
well and hard about every step you take.
Your goal is to end the divorce process as soon as
possible, not hurt your spouse’s feelings by provoking them and then ignoring
their reaction, right?
Even if you’ve immediately found someone new, and you
have every right to do so, you shouldn’t jump into a relationship with that
person right away.
That’s something that will definitely provoke a
reaction from your spouse. It might piss them off because they may think it’s
the reason you wanted to divorce in the first place.
Also, don’t ever flirt with someone else in front of
your soon-to-be-ex-husband/wife. It’s really awful, and it’ll definitely make
them change their opinion of you or provoke an even worse reaction from their
side.
DO hang out with the friends you have in
common
If you’re ignoring your spouse during the separation,
it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t hang out with the friends you have in
common. It’s not fair to them because they aren’t guilty of your separation.
That way, you may lose some great friends, people who
were always there for you and who honestly care for you.
Of course, sometimes they might invite both you and
your spouse to a gathering where it’ll be impossible to avoid your partner.
They’ll probably try to avoid it initially, at least
until the divorce process concludes because they won’t want to make things more
difficult for you.
However, if you find yourself in that situation, you
should try to have as little contact with your spouse as possible.
Don’t ignore them if they ask you something in front
of all those people, but keep away from them as much as you can.
If you see that things have become awkward, you should
go back home. I’m sure your friends will understand and won’t be mad at you
because you’ve left.
DON’T talk to them about your partner or your marriage
Even if you’re on a trial separation with your spouse
or started the divorce process, you shouldn’t talk about your spouse or your
separation in front of your friends.
Don’t put your best friends in an uncomfortable
position. It’s not fair to make them choose sides because it’s something they
aren’t okay with.
I’m sure you’ll be able to hang out with them together
again after the divorce. Time will pass, and you’ll both move on, and it’ll be
a lot easier for both of you to hang out together with your friends.
If your friends initiate the conversation or advise
you to try to make your marriage work before you end it forever, you should
politely ask them to stay out of it.
Your marriage and your divorce is a
private matter, and only you and your spouse have the right to make such
important decisions about your marriage.
Others have the right to comment on it and talk about
it, but no one has the right to interfere in it.
I’m sure your friends only want what’s
best for you and your partner and they can offer their sincere advice, but you
two are the only ones who can make the final decision.
Here's Something Special For You…
If you’ve been through a breakup recently--
Or if your man seems to be drifting further away each day...
Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.
Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing your man can hear that will change his mind and heart.
And once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...
It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you...
And even begging to be with you. So Click Below And Discover The Secret Now Before It’s too late
0 comments:
Post a Comment