Have you and your spouse grown apart? Do you feel like you’ve become total strangers? Then you should immediately look for ways to save your marriage.
Sometimes it might feel impossible and divorce might
seem like the only way out. Before you make any decision, though, you have to
think it through.
Marriage isn’t just a piece of paper, it is a
serious commitment. You have to fight and try hard to save the marriage because
it matters.
Your significant other matters and the vows you made
to each other matter.
Remember, for better or for worse… till
death do you part? Well, those “worst” times are now and you have to stick
together.
Fight and make it through those tough
periods together.
Trust me, every healthy marriage faces peaks and
troughs, but what’s important is to stick through everything TOGETHER. That’s
the only way you’ll solve your marital problems.
Marriage isn’t a relationship and you can’t break up
with your partner every time you have a disagreement or you don’t like
something.
Marriage is built on the promise that it
will last “until death do you part”.
If you think that your marriage is doomed, or you are
on the brink of divorce, continue reading below for some simple ways to help you
save your marriage.
1. The sooner you seek help from a
marriage counselor the better
As soon as you realize that you’re having marital
problems, you should seek professional help. The longer you wait, the harder it
will be to save your marriage and get it back on track.
Marriage counseling is going to help you to identify
specific issues you’re facing in your relationship.
Then, a marriage counselor is going to find the most
effective way for you to deal with those problems and save the marriage.
After only a few sessions, I guarantee you’ll see some
positive changes. It’s going to help you both learn more about you and your
relationship.
Marriage counselors will let both partners tell their
side of the story.
Then they will teach you that communication is
everything in a relationship, and that effective communication is the key to
overcoming and resolving conflict in a marriage.
You’ll learn how to support your partner in everything
that is important to them. You’ll learn that your partner should be the only
person you can lean on.
Couples counseling is a big step for many couples, and
most consider the therapy expensive and complex. But please, think about it. It
is the most effective way to save your marriage.
Before you give your relationship this check-up, you
have to be sure that both you and your partner are comfortable with the couples
counseling therapy.
2. Remember why you fell in love in the
first place
Go back to the past. Remember when you saw your
significant other for the first time. Remember those butterflies you felt in
your stomach.
Remember the first time they said, “I love
you”. Go back in time to when you were happy. So happy and so crazy in love.
Think about all the things you love about your
partner. Think about how you accepted and embraced their flaws and
imperfections and never even thought about changing them.
All those feelings are still there. You still love
your partner like you did on that first day. Put down your defensiveness and
you’ll see it. I’m sure your partner also has the same feelings for you.
You need to understand that this is just a phase in
your marriage. A phase that all married couples have to face. You just need to
find a way to deal with it and make your marriage work again.
You will be happy again. This will just strengthen
your connection and prove how strong and deep your love is. Don’t let these
hard times ruin your marriage.
3. Make your relationship a priority
Your relationship should always be a priority but now,
it’s essential it becomes a priority for both of you. You have to work on your
marriage every single day.
No matter how busy your schedule is, you always have
to make time for your significant other. They are more important than your job,
your friends, and everything else in your life.
Give your spouse the attention they deserve. Remember,
they aren’t your friend nor your roommate, they are your lover and partner.
Make them feel cherished and loved. Your partner
should never doubt your feelings for them. If they do, it means that you aren’t
trying hard enough to show them how much you love them.
You have to put in effort to make your marriage
work and to make it last a lifetime. You have to keep your vows and all
the promises you made your partner on your wedding day.
If you don’t make saving your marriage a priority,
you’ll lose something precious. You’ll lose the most valuable relationship in
your life.
If you don’t fight for your partner,
you’ll eventually lose them. You won’t feel complete without them. You’ll lose
one part of yourself because they were your other part.
4. Detox all your negative emotions
Once you’ve had the talk with your partner and said
all things that were bothering you, it’s time for an emotional detox.
When someone hurts us, the easiest thing to do is to
ignore it and suppress your emotions. The problem is that you won’t make your
emotions go away if you ignore them.
Suppressing emotions for a long time can have
consequences on your mental health. It can make you feel sad, depressed, or
even frustrated and bitter.
You have to take control of your emotions again. You
shouldn’t let them control you.
Don’t say something in the heat of the moment because
you know you’ll regret it later. And then it might be too late for forgiveness.
By removing all those negative feelings, you can
create space for some new and better ones. After you release all those awful
feelings, you’ll be more relaxed and you’ll be able to achieve inner peace.
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5. Shift your focus back onto yourself
It’s human nature to blame the other person for failures
and mistakes. Well, you can’t blame your partner for all the bad things that
happened in your relationship. It’s not all your partner’s fault.
Don’t focus only on their mistakes because you made
mistakes also. Think about that. Think about your mistakes and how much they
contributed to ruining your marriage.
Don’t say that they’ll have to fix their mistakes to
make your marriage work again. Remember, a marriage is all about teamwork.
You have to work on your mistakes together. You have
to function as one. If you are doing something to your partner that you know
would hurt you if someone did the same to you, then why are you doing it?
You bear the same guilt for the situation you’re
currently in. You’re both guilty for ALMOST ruining your marriage.
6. Improve yourself and become a better
spouse
You constantly have to work on yourself and try to be
a better spouse. Don’t be too stubborn and let your pride be more important to
you than your partner.
Learn to admit when you’re wrong. Always apologize for
your mistakes and take responsibility for them.
Think about all the things that your partner does for
you every day. You have to show that you see them and that you’re grateful for
everything.
The little things are always the most important. Run
them a bath when they come home from work. Prepare their favorite dish. Give
them a massage.
Ask them how their day went. Say thank you whenever
they do something nice for you. Show that you appreciate them.
You can’t start working on your relationship until you
start working on yourself. You have to change the things about yourself that
were obviously damaging your relationship.
7. Don’t give up
As we already said, this is just a phase and it’s
going to pass. You have to be patient and willing to work to make things right.
So, how do you save a marriage? By not
giving up. There are a million ways to try to save it, and quitting is the last
one.
I’m not going to lie and say it’s going to be easy.
Marriage is hard work. But if you ask me if it is worth it, my answer will
always be the same. Marriage is sacred and YES, it’s worth fighting for.
However, before you do anything, you have to give both
you and your partner some space. You have to think about your marriage and your
own feelings.
The only time a marriage is not worth saving is if you
and your significant other have stopped loving each other. Then truly, nothing
is worth it.
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Or if your man seems to be drifting further away each day...
Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.
Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing your man can hear that will change his mind and heart.
And once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...
It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you...
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