Dating a commitment phobe is awful. It’s painful,
stressful, and emotionally devastating in the long run.
However, what’s even worse is not accepting the
reality and refusing to see that your man doesn’t want to commit to your
relationship.
It’s forcing a man to commit and try to become the man
he clearly isn’t.
Love can’t be forced
Let me tell you the bitter truth you’re trying to run
away from: you can’t make someone love you.
Love and relationships can’t be forced, as hard as you
try to make them happen.
You can be the best girlfriend ever, the
most passionate lover, and the most caring friend this guy’s ever had, but if
he thinks that you’re not the one for him and if he doesn’t feel that special
connection with you, sadly, everything is in vain.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this man doesn’t
like you. He probably even cares for you deeply.
However, he obviously doesn’t consider you worthy of
him losing his freedom, abandoning his old ways, and completely changing his
lifestyle.
No, this doesn’t have to do with your worth as a woman
and it doesn’t have to mean that every man will feel the same way about you.
There is just a possibility that this particular guy
doesn’t love you enough to commit to you.
And you shouldn’t be the one trying to change his mind
because it’ll get you nowhere.
It can only be counterproductive
Human’s psychology is a tricky thing: usually, the
more someone is chasing us, the more we’re trying to escape.
That is exactly what is happening with a man you’re
trying to force into commitment: the more you’re trying to tie him up, the more
he feels suffocated and tries to free himself from what he sees as emotional
chains.
So, one of the main reasons never to force a man to
commit to you is the fact that your actions will probably just have a
counterproductive effect.
This way, you probably won’t get even the commitment
levels this guy was ready to give you on his own.
Instead, he will put all of his effort in running for
his life and trying to liberate himself from any obligation.
Instead of enjoying his time with you, he’ll be
relieved by having his personal space far away from you.
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He’s obviously not ready
When a man refuses to commit , it means he
is not ready to do it and that is something you have to respect.
These are his limits and personal boundaries and it is
not acceptable for you to push him over the edge.
Don’t take this the wrong way, this doesn’t mean that
you should wait an eternity until he comes to his senses and chooses you, but
you can’t expect good results from a guy who is not emotionally ready to become
the man you need him to be.
Therefore, you can either accept the situation or
leave on time.
You don’t want a man who doesn’t want you back
The most crucial reason why you should never force
someone to commit to you is because it is – let’s be honest – desperate and
needy.
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this man
obviously doesn’t want you as much as you want him.
If you have to force him into taking this step, it’s
clear that you two have different perceptions of your relationship – that it
means a lot more to you than it does to him and that you’re the one who loves
more.
After all, do you really want to be the only one trying?
The only one attempting to build a relationship and
take it to the next level, with his zero effort.
Would you really be happy beside a guy, knowing that
you forced him to commit to you, and knowing that’s something he’d probably
never do on his own?
That you reached your goals by emotional blackmail or
manipulation?
There are other fish in the sea
Another reason why you should never force anyone to
commit is the fact that there are many other men around you who’d probably give
you exactly what you need.
You just fail to see it because you’re blinded by the
desire to make this one completely yours.
I’m not advising you to jump from one relationship to
another, but if this guy you’re currently seeing can’t meet your emotional
needs or wants different things, move on to someone else you’ll
be compatible with.
Why waste so much energy on trying to modify someone
when you can find a man you’re actually looking for right around the corner?
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